Saturday, May 9, 2009
(This post is also part 2 of the last post "Motivation where are you?")
It was one of those parties that I knew no one would forget. As soon as I walked into the room I scoped the place looking to see where my nearest exists would be. Out of the something hundred people I saw that night I knew there was only one person I could trust. The one person that I knew wasn’t going to get drunk and act like a complete idiot.
Unfortunately, even these kinds of people know how boring that is! So eventually they end up leaving early and take my scapegoat along with them.
It went from the disaster I had pictured from the beginning, up until the point I ended up having so many drinks I didn’t give a f***. But of course I waited till everyone else was drunk thinking no one would remember how off my face I was.
Lets face it; i'm one of those people who get drunk and then start:
2.Saying things I had never planned on telling other people and
3.I also tend to become a little ditsy, so to speak (OK, maybe A LOT ditsy). I get to the point where even I want to shut myself up!!
But as promised, the reason why I had lost my motivation:
While I was off my face, I met someone. Someone I always wished I had the courage to be more like. Well, as nice as it sounds, this someone was also digging a hole through my conscious with his non-stop questions.
Geeeezzz I never thought it would end!!
It was question after question AFTER QUESTION!!!
Boy did he love those questions!!!! And they never seemed to end!!!!!!!
Throughout the lengthy beginning of this party he was the first person I tried to avoid. It might have something to do with the stone cold look upon his face. I can never really tell why but this guy gives me the chills.
When I’m sober that is!
But when I was drunk well lets just say I was more than happy to answer all of his questions.
And to be honest, I had never answered any questions so truthfully before that it was killing me.
That is why I must give this guy a name; his name is (drum roll please!) “Conscious Killer”.
Ever since that day i've been unable to keep pretending who I am and who everyone aspires me to be. I just don’t want my life to result out of pitying others anymore because I just end up pitying myself. I want happiness. Who doesn’t? I have no idea if “Conscious Killer” really knows what he's doing with all these questions (because he sucks at trying to make a conversation)! But I tell you; he would make a really great counsellor!!
Someone should seriously tell him that.
Though it is NOT going to be me!! What? The guy freaks me out!!
P.S When I’m drunk I tend to tell people I love them. Thought you should know!
Posted by Rouge at 6:30 AM