These past couple of days I’ve gotten to know myself a little better, I am more of what you would call on top of things. I am the mastermind to every solid plan. I am now found at the finishing line of every race. I am energetic, enthusiastic and I am in CONTROL!
I am... A LIAR!!!
Yes, that's right take everything I’ve said at the beginning of this post and erase it (but keep a second copy because who knows when we might need it again, right?).
I'm starting to believe that everything I was told or told myself in high school was a complete LIE! Yes, there may have been a moment or two in my life where I did feel as though I was on top of things and in control. I know there was definitely a point in time where I believed that I had complete power if I had all five of my best friends alongside me, but now I’m not so sure...
Maybe by pretending all these years that I had the world on my shoulders I’ve wasted precious time of thinking and planning ahead for the future...
Can anyone really be in control?
This all brings me back to a quote that has been stuck in my unconscious mind for quite some time.
"There comes a point in life where everything begins to peel back."- Susanna Kaysen (Girl Interrupted-1999)
I know that this may seem absurd since it's a quote from a film but I believe that there is some truth in it (kid me not).
What does this quote mean to you exactly?
To me it's as though we are trying to move on from our past but someone (or we) keep hitting the refresh button. Maybe because we are still caught onto the things that wont let us move on, OR simply just because we are not meant to. So instead we are pulled back to point A all over again.
So, what significance does this have on us? Are we meant to learn anything from it? I am still yet to find out...