Sunday, October 5, 2008

November 4th November 4th November 4th November 4th November 4th

My deepest apologies to all you bloggers out there...I know, I know, I jeopardized my position as a recent blogger...but I promise I have a reason and I just hope it's good enough to win your forgiveness.
The date that continuesly appears in the title will be the day I will be able to blog unconditioningly as I have been busy studying the books...Fashion magazines?? NOOOO I WISH! I am currently studying for my final exam for high school. And I am dreading it!! But I promised myself not to bore you through the storey of my ups and downs through my process of school as I know you have all been (or are going) through the same thing, and I am also sick of listening to the storey.
If you REALLY, REALLY, want to hear the storey I would be happy to personally email it to you :p but it may go on for about a hundred something pages and I clearly doubt you want to hear it....
If I still haven’t convinced you, heres a little demo of the script..
It goes a little something like this...
Parents- "I want you to work really hard so you can go to university and become something big, like the rest of your family."
Me- "But mum, dad, I don't want to be like the rest of the family. I'm not smart enough and it's not like they don't have any faults. Look at Rachel she went to uni and she doesn't even care about anyone. She walks over everyone she sees. I just want to be happy for the rest of my life, no matter where I work. I don't want to become anything big."
Parents "I've had enough of you, (continuelsly shakes right index finger towards my direction). You don't take anything seriously...........

..And it goes a little something like that. The truth is though, I really do want to go to uni and become something but I don't know exactly what?? Confused much? Yeah, I think so too... OR AT LEAST I THINK I DO???
So, in the end of the day I feel as though I’m striving towards nothing...and that’s what makes it so difficult for me. I've spent my whole life judging other people by their faults thinking that I’m going to be better but now I’m stuck and I’m too afraid to move forward.
A little too dramatic? I'm sorry that’s just how my mind works when it's going through a drought (LOL!)......AAARRRHHHH.....:P HAHA I did it again!! See that’s why I didn't want to talk about this loll!!


P.S Pray for me :D Someone’s got too...and I hope I’ve won your forgiveness.


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