Thursday, December 24, 2009
I can now say that I’m "ok" with everything that has happened this year. During these past few weeks leading up to Christmas I feel as though everything is finally going my way. I've had more luck than ever before and I'm not sure if I deserve it, but it feels GREAT!
I’m more than content. I don't think I would have ever felt this strong without the ongoing dramas and thresholds that were this year.
You want a recap? Well, ok but just a quick one.
*I Started a Course that I had no idea what was expected in the beginning.
*Meeting someone that I had once met before but never had the likings to ever really get to know him because well..Before this year I was a lot smarter and I guess I knew then not to trust him.
*losing a friend
*Becoming friends with girls whom I would never talk to in high school (but I did want a fresh start so I was up for the challenge.)
*Remembering that I hate fake people and that’s why I never spoke to them. However some can just be sweet and really are harmless.
*Changing my whole perspective on life and careers due to the new people that I had met.
*Trusting the person that I shouldn’t have trusted
*Losing my own trust.
*Getting my trust tread/jumped and walked all over on.
*Realising that that person has no clue and now all I have for him is pity.
* Finding out who my true friends really are. Now this is an important one because you never really know this until you truly have a melt down and someone goes that extra mile for you!!!
* Re-doing two of my subjects only to find that I got a “Pass”. Normally I would be alright with this...but I really put A LOT of effort into these assignments so it was a bit of a let down.
*Finding out that I can be a massive coward when it comes to showing someone how I feel and to cover this up all I do is create more drama for myself and use that as an excuse.
*Gaining my own trust again and then comprehending the fact that I’m my own person with my own ideas. No one else can ever have the same feelings and think the way I do. That is why so many people disagree or don’t support my ideas. They think of everything from their own perspective. I don’t blame them...I do the same. After all it’s all I know.
*I love design, I have a creative mind. That's me. It’s how my brain was made to function. I know that now. And so that is the direction I’m heading in.
With the help of a very important friend and a Christmas card she gave me, I now know what I have to do in 2010.
And just so you know, this card literally brought me to tears. It really meant a lot to me.
This is what the card said:
I hope that even though there were ups and downs, good people and bad people, freedom and stress- that you learnt a lot from this year and you don't regret one bit of it. =)
I know some people can be dickheads, and at the end of the day can let you down... but I will always be here to listen to everything and even be your councillor if you want!! Don't let bad people in the future take you down.
But have a great Christmas sweetie, it was a fun year with you and I’m sure we will create more memories for the future 2010
So, as stated in this card my New Year’s Resolution will be to not let anyone let me down...No matter how much I trusted them.
I wish you all a very Merry Christmas and a Happy New Year!!!!
Posted by Rouge at 5:16 AM